Anybody got some pots and pans???

Jeffrey loves to tell the story of how during the Great Leap Forward in communist China Mao Zedong identified four great pests: rats, mosquitoes, flies and sparrows. Each was to be eradicated for the benefit of the Chinese people. (Ecology aside, I have to say I have always agreed with the first three.)

Eliminating sparrows, who were targets because they would feed on grain, posed a particular challenge as they were not to be killed through traditional traps or pesticides. Instead, the Great Sparrow Campaign enlisted the Chinese peasantry. Peasants throughout China were to run around banging pots and pans after the sparrows, startling them and preventing them from landing and resting. Consequently, the birds would die off of sheer exhaustion.

After giving up 2008 to sickness and pregnancy, I have had one goal for 2009: regain my life. As a stay-at-home mom, I do not expect to do this in any grand way, such as going back to school or cultivating a new and time-intensive hobby. All I want is to get back on some regular schedule where I can consistently exercise, read, study and have a few quiet moments to myself. I want the boredom and rhythm of a simple schedule in life.

But, my efforts have been thwarted by the Four Great Pests of Normalcy: holidays, snow, company, and illness. Every time I think I am going to get ahead, to resume some normal function, one of these four creeps up on me. There is another birthday, school gets canceled and Jeffrey works from home, visitors arrive in town, or someone in the family gets sick (most often me!). I just can't catch a break.

I have figured it out; I have not had one week since the middle of October without one of the great pests. I have had three snow days plus some threatening ones with early returns from work, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, five birthdays, MLK Day, Inauguration Day, Valentine's Day, President's Day, eight weeks of company in my house, and more sicknesses and trips to the doctor than I care to count.

This week, when I took Mia in to the doctor and in one visit she was diagnosed with Strep throat, an ear infection and pink eye -- all of which began making their way through the rest of the family, in addition to the cold Maggie came down with, and bringing my total to three rounds of strep in 7 weeks -- I decided I have had enough.

It is time for some serious pot banging at my house!

I am swearing off holidays or even the thought of festivities. Visitors beware -- no one will be welcomed at my door who intends to stay over two hours (at least not for the next month, or so:)). And, I have been aggressively sanitizing the surfaces in my home, washing all the linens in the house, and doing boot-camp training on hand washing and the proper use and disposal of kleenex.

I will eradicate the great pests through sheer exhaustion if nothing else.

The Fanciest of Valentine's Days

It has finally arrived: a moment I have waited long for -- Mia and Maggie are beginning to appreciate the finer things in life.

Growing up, I always enjoyed the little things that my mom did to make the holidays special: gifts and notes by your dinner plate for Valentines, rainbow jello for Saint Patrick's Day, soup with jack-o-lantern faces for Halloween. I have been excited to create our own traditions to mark the holidays, even more minor ones. But, until recently it often felt like my efforts were wasted amid the chaos of having little children. The food was largely left on the plates, the presents turned into an argument when someone didn't want to share, and Jeffrey and I spent entire meals unable to have a conversation, up and down, cleaning up messes and resolving issues the whole time.

So, when we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day this year with a family dinner at home (since Jeffrey and I went to a party and left the kids the night before), my expectations were not too high. But, when I told Mia and Maggie we were going to have a "fancy, fancy" (which is a favorite phrase in our house since Maggie loves the books about "Fancy Nancy," but calls her "Fancy Fancy") dinner for Valentine's they were ecstatic. They asked if they could wear their fancy gowns. I told them yes, fancy dress was mandatory. Then, they asked if they could have a "fancy dress ball" after dinner. This seemed to be a no-brainer, of course, we would need to have a ball.

Mia helped me set the table with our best China. She carried up red and pink candles, and we lit them so we could dine by candlelight. Mia was especially impressed with my silver salt and pepper shakers, which caused her to exclaim, "Oh mom, they are just what a king and queen would use!" I could not talk her out of using all my tiered pewter platters, so she came up with a last minute appetizer (pita chips with Greek yogurt) all on her own and set it out so we could also use the smaller trays.

Mia took drink orders, poured the sparkling juices into the goblets, served everyone's plates, and waited on us during the meal. Mia and Maggie were insistent that we turn out all the lights in the house and use only the candles -- thank goodness I found so many red and pink ones!

Everyone dressed up. Jeffrey donned a sports coat with a large silk rose and a yellow lei. I had a princess crown, and Mia and Maggie dressed themselves. We all looked fancy, fancy.

But, the best part of the evening was that the girls sat at the table -- Mia even enjoyed the chicken cordon bleu, asparagus, rice and salad while Maggie only ate pita chips -- and enjoyed it.

We took turns talking about the different things that we loved about each member of our family. Mia rushed through the first time, just saying, "I love everyone," but then after we talked about everyone individually, she said she needed another turn. It was so sweet to hear my daughters express so much love for each other. It was one of the first meals I can think of where we all just sat, visited, and enjoyed one another's company.

Then, it was time for the "ball." Since Jeffrey is the only male in the house, he had a lot of dancing to do. Even, Elsie Jane got a dance with dad! The girls loved it. Mia had to show Jeffrey just how she wanted him to put his hand on her waist so she could hold up her dress while they danced.

To cap the evening off, at Mia's direction and insistence, Jeffrey knelt on one knee to present her with the gift we had bought for her. (We picked up two little compact mirrors with jeweled butterflies on them for $5.00 at TJ Maxx, it was just the right type of fancy, fancy gift for our party.) Mia and Maggie were quite impressed, and Mia said she was certain they cost about "one hundred million dollars."

The effects of last night's festivities must have still been in effect today, because on the way to church Maggie asked me, "Mom, can I change my name?" "To what," I queried. "Cinderella."

I suspect that even Cinderella could not have had a better time with her prince than Mia and Maggie had at their fancy, fancy dinner and ball.

Blessings...

My little Elsie Jane is now three months old. I wonder if time seems to go faster when it is measured in months rather than years? Yet, during those first 12 months, it makes such a difference.

My mom and sister came into town to visit and be here for Elsie Jane's blessing day. My nephew, Will, came along. I have only seen Will twice before -- once at 1 month and last summer at about 6 months. He turned one year old last week, and -- despite the fact that Mia and Maggie believe his full name is "Baby Will" -- next to Elsie it is clear that he is not a baby anymore.

Elsie Jane is smiling and cooing at us. She is so strong and responsive. The newborn phase has already passed me by.

Last Sunday, she was blessed by Jeffrey at church. I was grateful to have some family in town and many sweet friends to share Elsie Jane's blessing with us. It seemed like a fitting day for celebrating Elsie Jane. The sun was shining; there was an abundance of food and company and love.

On days like that, I look at my three beautiful girls and I can't help but think of how blessed I am to be their mother.

I feel like time is racing past me, and I cannot hold on to enough of these moments. I used to long for days when my children would finally be in school, and I could figure out what to do with the next phase of my life. It seemed like time was dragging along. Now, with Mia off to school all day and little Elsie Jane growing up before my eyes I just wonder what changes I need to make to fully enjoy my little girls. I mourn for all the moments I have been too busy and pray it is not too late to fill their world with an overflowing of love and wonder.

I know too well that soon they won't be here with me all day. Kindergarten has been a bit of a challenge that way already. I know they will experience pain and saddness, pressure and tons of conditional love and acceptance. I fear they may be rejected, judged harshly, and ridiculed in their lives. I wonder every day what I can do to ensure that home is the safe and warm sanctuary to which they can always return, and to which they will always be drawn.

I have done enough work, enough worrying, enough planning in their lives. I want to excel at playing, marveling, and smiling. I have done too much scolding and correcting. I want to fill their lives with peaceful, happy acceptance. I have spent too much time sick and distracted (especially over the past year!). I long for health and energy and a reserve of patience.

I have just over five years and Elsie Jane will be off to school all day; Mia will be in Young Women's and middle school, and I will have to re-invent my life again.

For now, as I re-emerge from the fog of pregnancy, I feel a new sense of purpose and desire to immerse myself in the day-to-day blessings of having little children, because before I know it, they will be grown.