The Perfect Bribe

I have been searching for an item that is so very coveted, so highly desirable that Maggie will be convinced to never venture out of her bed again, just to ensure that she can receive it.

Apparently, the draw of sleeping right in between her mom and dad, with her round, hard head firmly lodged into one's back and her little, active feet kicking the other's stomach, is incredibly strong.

Maggie's sleeping arrangement has been a real struggle that pits the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of my parenting practices against one another.

The thing is, in my defense, that sleep deprivation can do crazy things to your mind.

As I have spent a lot of time over the last year unable to sleep through the night myself, due to the side effects of pregnancy and nursing, it is only lately that I have gained enough energy to even try to address the issues with Maggie.

I have had rational conversations about the reasons mom and dad do not want her in our bed.

I have threatened.

I have raised my voice and yelled at her in the middle of the night, which never does any of us any good as we both end up in tears and I have mountains of guilt in the morning.

I have tried to convince her to just lay on the floor next to me.

I have tried to put her back in her bed and lovingly kiss her goodnight, over and over and over again.

I have even toyed with the idea of locking her door so she cannot escape, but it is just not consistent with my true feelings about parenting (I want to be available to her, just only for real emergencies during the night, not an irrational need for a human punching bag).

And, I have spent hours in the middle of the night helplessly watching her cry and scream through another one of her night terrors.

So, sick of an aching back, a grouchy husband, and an inability to think clearly because I rarely get more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep, I have fallen back on the quintessential tool available to all desperate parents: bribery.

We go to the store; Maggie sees a toy she would like, and I say, "If you can sleep in your own bed for a week, I will buy that for you."

I have tried to play off her love of sugar offering a lollipop, fruit snacks, or almost any other possible treat in the mornings in she will just stay in bed.

But, none of my bribes have worked. Until Wednesday.

Wednesday Jeffrey and I took the girls along to mutual at the church. Mia and Maggie watched a show in a small room during the event, and actually did quite well with minimal parental supervision.

Later that evening as we were putting Maggie to bed, Jeffrey inquired, "Maggie, what are you chewing?"

"Gum," Maggie replied.

"Where did you get the gum?"

Now Mia chimed in, "Oh, she found that green gum stuck under the table at the church."

EWWWWWWWWW!

Of course, this was enough to put Jeffrey over the edge. He snatched the gum out of Maggie's mouth and began noticeably gagging.

As I tried to keep him from hyperventilating or beginning some extreme mouth cleansing ritual, Maggie ran into the hall, let out a blood curdling scream, threw herself on the ground, and began to pound her hands and fists on the floor, shouting, "I love gum! I love gum! I love gum!"

And, instantly, I knew. I smiled at the chaos, walked down the stairs and called over my shoulder, "I'll buy you some gum if you will stay in bed."

And, I did. Purple gum. After three out of five nights without Maggie in my bed, I have only one thing to say: I too love gum.

That Makes Two of Us

It was Saturday evening. Jeffrey was gone to the church; Elsie Jane and I perched on the front porch so I could feed her some green beans and keep an eye on her sisters. Mia and Maggie were having the time of their lives.

They decided to blend the two activities that I had authorized: driving their car and running through the sprinklers.

Mia was the designated driver. With the wheels peeling, Mia navigated a series of
360's across the driveway, onto the grass and through the sprinkling water, leaving muddy tracks behind. Maggie, Mia's most ardent admirer and imitator, was reclining in the passenger seat, her feet resting on the dash. Both girls were squealing at the top of their lungs.

I observed them driving fast -- fully charged that toy car can really get some speed.


Driving without hands.


Letting the passenger -- who has yet to fully comprehend the connection between the direction she turns the wheel and the direction the car will go -- steer.


Mowing over my flower beds.


Getting wet.


And, generally having a great time.

In the midst of their shenanigans, Mia remarked to Maggie: "I sure hope I don't drive like this when I'm sixteen."

"That makes two of us," I confided to Elsie Jane. Elsie just grinned.

Half A Year

Mother's Day marked the six month point for Elsie Jane. I cannot believe that she is already that old! She is still an absolutely delightful baby.

Last week, Jeffrey took Mia and Maggie to Utah for a long weekend. So, Elsie and I got to have some time alone together. Despite having elaborate visions of all I could do while most of my family was gone, such as building cabinets and shelves for the office or taking a two-day bubble bath, I had more than enough to keep me busy. I had my visiting teacher come, went visiting teaching, went to Young Womens one evening, went to Relief Society Enrichment one evening, read about 500 pages of information to prepare a talk for church on Joseph Smith, prepared a lesson for church, and did all the flowers for a wedding.

My point is actually not that I was busy, but that only Elsie Jane (of all my kids) would have happily traveled to all of these activities with me. She played on the floor and in her bouncy seat for hours at the church while I did the flowers. She made lots of new friends. She was just amazing!

Which is the case in so many ways.

Elsie Jane loves her "Johnny Jump Up" it is her favorite thing. She bounces all over the place and spends hours in it happily.

Elsie Jane loves to eat solid foods. Pretty much anything. She even loves the green vegetables that neither of her sisters would touch!

Elsie Jane takes great naps and even sleeps through the night -- about fifty percent of the time.

Elsie Jane has a good sense of humor. She tried out these sunglasses the other day, and when her sisters began giggling at how cute she looked, so did Elsie Jane. She thought it was just hilarious.

Elsie Jane can get all over the place by rolling and scooting around. She has figured out how to get up on her hand and knees and rock, but not quite crawl. She also started sitting up on her own for a couple of minutes at a time this week.

Elsie Jane is brilliant -- at least, so says her dad who is convinced that when she started consistently saying "Da da da" this week that she must be talking about him. I have yet to be convinced...

Lessons from the Bluebells

A couple weeks ago we took the girls to walk the bluebell trail at Bull Run Park.

I learned several important things on this excursion:

1- Virginia in the spring is stunning! I knew it before, but once again I just have to marvel at the beauty of where we live.

2- Taking the kids on a long walk / hike is a great family experience. Why do I ever take them somewhere to sit and be quiet for "fun"? No, good family times are more likely to occur with lots of open space and room to run.

3- My girls are fundamentally different. I must remember that these personality traits are just innate.

Mia cannot, no matter how hard she tries to exercise sufficient self-control, avoid the mud. She must splash; she must feel; she must become a part of the earth. It is how she does life.

Maggie cannot wear pants and cannot tolerate any mess. She must wear a dress, no matter the activity. She will tip-toe around mud puddles and insist on being carried to avoid the chance of spoiling her clothing.

4- Elsie Jane apparently believes she can fly on her own, if she moves her legs and arms quickly enough. Elsie kicked and waved and moved the entire time we were on the trail, while attached to my stomach in her little baby pack. When we finished our hike and I took off her hat she looked up at me with a happy, but astonished expression, as if to say, "Where did you come from, Mom?"

"I've been here all along. What, did you think you were moving on your own?"

5- Never mention treats within earshot of children unless you plan to deliver. There is no backing out once they believe they are going to get ice cream.

The Merchants Meet the Washingtons

One of my favorite places to visit in the Washington, DC region is Mount Vernon, home of George Washington.

On Saturday Jeffrey and I took the girls for the first time.

(Ironically, the last visit we made to Mount Vernon was also on the Saturday before Mother's Day 7 years ago when my family was visiting. At that time, Jeffrey and I were living in Arlington and working on Capitol Hill. I was pregnant with Mia, and we were trying to decide whether to move to Boston and both attend law school, stay in DC, or move back to Utah. Now, as we returned with our three children, I thought about how much our lives have changed in the intervening years.)

Mount Vernon has only gotten better since our last visit, with a fabulous museum and visitor's center, it is even more kid-friendly and informative than I remembered.

Best moment of the visit for me was being asked by the docent at the children's presentation if I home schooled my kids (which I do NOT) because they were so well-mannered, attentive, bright, and interested. Yes, my kids. Happy Mother's Day to Me!!!

Best moment for Mia and Maggie is a toss-up: chasing and feeding the lambs or rolling hoops on the grass. Seriously, who needs a Wii? Give my family a couple of revolutionary-era toys and we are good to go for hours.

We are already looking forward to our next visit.