Nine Years, Nine Lives

Today Jeffrey and I celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary. What strikes me the most is how much our lives have changed in nine years.

Jeffrey and I met in high school, five years before we got married. We started dating my senior year, and dated all through the time I was in college, including four months of daily email correspondence while Jeffrey was in Beijing studying Chinese. My last semester of college, we got engaged. The bulk of our seven month engagement was spent living in Alexandria, Virginia and working as full-time interns on Capitol Hill. We then returned to Utah and were married a month later on September 30, 1999.

Year 1- Newlyweds and Politicking
We lived in a small apartment in the Avenues in Salt Lake City. It was on the fourth floor and we would joke that there was no reason to lock the door since anyone stupid enough to haul some of our meager belongings down all those flights of stairs deserved to keep them!

We loved walking through our historic neighborhood. We would walk to the grocery store, church, downtown for lunch, and to the temple. I walked to work each day at Intermountain Healthcare where I worked full-time as a technical writer.

In addition to finishing his last semester at the University of Utah, Jeffrey quit his job as a pharmacy technician to accept a (practically unpaid) position on a political campaign for a democratic challenger taking on the republican incumbent in Utah -- this is the definition of a "long-shot," politically speaking.

We spent all our free time working on the campaign: organizing neighborhood walks, supervising volunteers, assembling field plans, identifying potential supporters on the phone. I wanted to actually see my new husband after all.

Year 2- Capitol Hill and Washington DC
When the candidate Jeffrey was working for actually won, we were both offered legislative positions in his Congressional Office in Washington, DC. We moved to an apartment about a mile from the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia and commenced working full-time as legislative staff. We spent most of our time at work, learning the ropes of legislative process and policy-making. We also enjoyed exploring the DC region on the weekends.

It could be said that between living, working, and sleeping together, we were never apart during this time!

Year 3- Settling Down
While this year together included many months working for Congress and plans for both of us to attend law school in Boston, all of that changed with the news that we were expecting our first baby.

At the end of Year 3, we moved back across the country, bought and remodeled our first home in Salt Lake City, and continued to do the work we had done in DC, but from the local congressional office in Salt Lake City.

Year 4- Parenthood
What more do I need to say? Mia's birth completely changed our lives. I cut back my work schedule, and we tried to adapt to all that it meant to be parents.

Year 5- Student-life, Again
Jeffrey quit work, while I continued to work part-time, and commenced his studies as a full-time law student. This required me to remind him that there was a life and world outside of legal academia.

Year 6- Catching Our Breath
This year was the closest we have ever gotten to just holding steady. Mia grew; Jeffrey advanced in his schooling; I kept working; we continued to fix up our house. Really, a little bit boring by Merchant standards.

Year 7- "Real" Adult Life
Welcoming our second child, having Jeffrey graduate from law school and pass the bar and then settle into full-time work as an attorney at a law firm, felt a lot like moving into a more permanent, "adult" position in life. We even got some of the luxuries we cut back on during the newly-married / student years: cell phones, Internet at home, and a second car.

Year 8- Wholesale Changes
Early on, I quit my job of the previous six years to be home full-time with our girls. Then, we decided that a change in career paths for Jeffrey would be best, so we spent the bulk of Year 8 in uncertainty as Jeffrey looked into options and eventually got a new job with the US Department of Agriculture in Washington, DC. We sold our house, we bought a new home, and we relocated our family and all our belongings to Manassas, Virginia.

Year 9- Settling-in, Again
This past year has been all about creating a new life for our family in Virginia. It is different being back here with two kids and me not working. We have fixed up our house, found new favorite places to visit, seen seven months of my third pregnancy pass, and had Mia start school full-time in kindergarten. It is, once again, a whole new life for our family.

I just can't help but be amazed at all the different "lives" we have led over the past nine years. To be honest, it has all been sweeter and richer because we have traveled these many varied roads and made all of these life changes together.

I am hopeful that the next years will provide a little more stability and continuity for our family. We already are excited about a new baby arriving in Year 10 (and I am counting on a get-away for the two of us next anniversary!). But, I know that whatever life holds in store, we will face it together and that brings me great comfort and joy.

Ready or not, she will come...

So, I have felt the need to be ready. Besides, getting organized for the arrival of a new baby is also about helping me believe that we are REALLY going to have a baby.

Of course, to me this does not mean that I have gone to the store and made practical purchases. In fact, we still do not have any diapers, wipes, bath wash, bottles, binkis, or other essential items in the house. But, those are the easy to purchase at the last minute things, right?

Instead, I have put my attention into decorating a bedroom. This is the TOP priority for bringing home a new little bundle of love, correct?

Since I already have two girls and this baby is likely to have a lot of second-hand, well, everything, I wanted to create a room that was distinctive from both my other girls'. Since Mia has a yellow, animal-themed bedroom with red and blue accents and Maggie has a pink, flower-fairy room with yellow and green, I wanted to steer clear of the traditional pale pastels for this baby. But, while creating something beautiful and unique, I needed to do it with as little expenditure as possible.

All in all, I must say I am quite pleased with the result. Some creativity and handiness, all of my recent crafts, and re-making much of what we already had made this a successful project for every objective. Take a look at the final product and my spending sheet and see what you think.



I repainted the same cheap IKEA crib we have used for both the other girls, at this point buying a new one seemed a little silly. Besides, I would rather invest in furniture two years from now than a crib that will only be needed for a couple of years. The blue paint and stain gave the crib a rich, new look.

I recovered the bumper pads I had for Maggie. This was my first attempt at bumper pads, and while I got the result I wanted, they are sure a PAIN to sew. With some recovered pillows to match, I think that it is a bed worthy of a little princess.




I used my favorite gel stain to give a new look to the light pine dresser that I got in high school, which is still kicking around, but was very dinged up from the move. Again, a great transformation. The bird wall art cards pull everything together and create a theme for the room. Also, check out my paper topiary tree from craft group. (I had no idea, as you will see, how handy all the craft group projects would be in pulling this room together.)


The project I am most proud of is the table right here. I wanted a little table / shelf to fit this space, but I didn't want to spend too much, so a few Saturdays ago while Jeffrey was gone, I decided: I have a whole bunch of wood in my garage, I can get what I want for free. A little sawing, hammering, puttying, sanding, and painting later, I am pleased with the table. And, it fits the space perfectly.

With the exception of the lamp, everything else here is recycled from another use in the house, including the rocker which got newly covered pads.


This spot showcases my other craft group creations. Who new all those years helping design and cut out appliqued sweatshirts would come in so handy? I love my little bird applique art work. I also made the little shelf myself, along with one with pink glass knobs for Maggie's room.


In the end, here is my accounting:
Paint and Stain - 0 (leftover from other projects)
Window Treatments - 0 (reused material from old valences that I didn't like when we moved in)
Mobile - $5 (hoop and paper)
Bumper pads, pillows, and chair pads - $40 (fabric)
Art work - $35 ($29 bird cards, $6 bird appliques)
Lamp - $19
Table - 0 (reused wood from other projects)
Furniture - 0 (repainted crib and dresser, moved rocker upstairs)
Decor - $24 (paper topiary supplies, one bird house, 3 metal birds, everything else I already owned and just needed a home in my home)
Baskets - $2 (needed one can of brown spray paint to make them work in this room)

Total: $125

Now, I must say, I love to watch redecorating shows on HGTV, but I always think: who couldn't create something great with a limitless budget? Or even with $1000?

I am waiting to audition for the show that poses an even more formidable challenge, like under $200. After this room, I think I am working up to the task.

I did do a few practical things to prepare for the arrival of this baby. I inventoried and washed all of the baby clothes and put them away in the baby's room.

I also made the one large ticket purchase required for this baby. And, I must say I did well. After scouting out exactly which infant car seat and stroller that I wanted on-line (mine was 6 1/2 years old and I had given away any stroller that could be used with an infant seat) for $300, I found this one on Craig's list. I never buy used items, but when I talked to the owner who had used it for two weeks and saw in-person that it was just like brand-new, I couldn't pass it up for $100. Here is the seat. The stroller matches and is of equal quality. I am pleased.

National Talk Like a Pirate Day

Aaahr me hearties, how be ye? I know its a little late to be celebratin', but today be National Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I felt obligated to be sayin' a few words. First, let me be thankin' me family for lettin' me celebrate. 'Tis only one day per year that I be talkin' this way, and me fine wife usually puts up with it quite well. Second, let me tell a few pirate jokes (many of ye already know these, they be oldies, but goodies):

1. Have ye heard of the new George Clooney movie that be comin' out? No, not the spy one, the pirate one? I wanted to take the kiddies to see it, but unfortunately, it's rated AAARRRRRRRR!

2. But seriously folks, do ye be knowin' why pirates wear earrings? Generally, pirates wore earrings to ensure that a priest would give 'em a proper funeral should they have the unfortunate pleasure of heading to Davey Jones' Locker. The priest would take the earring as payment for his services. Do you know how much it usually cost to get the earring though? A Buck an ear!

3. Speaking of ears, do you know what a pirate receptionist's worst nightmare is? CAARRRRpal Tunnel.

Okay, well, comin' up with pirate jokes is a bit haaarrrd, so I think I'll be stoppin' thar. For all you filthy bilgerats that are disinclined to celebrate this day (and I plan on celebratin' all weekend), ye ought to be keelhauled for a quarter-hour, hornswaggled out of all ye own, have yer village pillaged by the Corsairs, and then be forced to walk the plank, ye dirty sons of a biscuit eater. So everyone buck up and start talkin' like a pirate. Savvy?

What am I doing blogging at this hour?

Maggie is fully in the "in-between" phase: that terrible space between requiring a nap every day and being able to happily make it without. Her sleep confusion was compounded by spending three and a half weeks back in Utah without consistent naps or bedtimes, over-stimulated and over-indulged by grandparents, and on a different time-zone. Trying to figure out a schedule that really works for her has led to a host of interesting moments.

Here is one for example. Three-thirty last Saturday afternoon, she was watching Mia play on the computer. She had refused to nap earlier, and if we pass the three pm threshold, then a nap just means she won't go to bed at night, so we determined to let her just stay up in hopes for an earlier bedtime and a well-rested Maggie. Instead, upon walking downstairs we found this:


Of course, this set things up very poorly for the next day.

Sundays with church at 1 pm are the WORST for nap-times. Since we leave home around 12:30 in the afternoon and usually return at about 4:45, there is no space for Maggie to nap. She is cranky and tired the whole time we are gone, and will then fall asleep on the way home. Last week this, combined with Mia's utter-exhaustion after the first week of kindergarten, meant that when Jeffrey was asked to sit up on the stand at church due to his new position in the bishopric (the leadership of our congregation), both of my kids burst into tears, sobbing loudly: "I want my daddy." I, of course, got to "discreetly" escort them from the chapel, and try to calm them both down. Maggie then refused to go to her nursery class and fell asleep on the way home -- only to wake back up at about 6:00 (while we had company for dinner) crying, and then not go back to bed until after 9:30.

Monday was better, Maggie took a nap.

But, Tuesday I went to visit Mia's class at school and have lunch with her, since she had been having extreme anxiety about discipline and her teacher, whom she perceived as always "yelling" at them. I had dragged Mia out of the trees where she hid when the school bus pulled up and pushed her onto the bus in tears that morning. Then, I returned to the house and called Jeffrey on the phone sobbing. Trying to improve the situation for Mia, who had cried about going to school every morning / night for five days consumed a lot of energy last week. Hence, Maggie did not regularly nap, and fell asleep in the car running an errand at 3:30 on Tuesday, just in time to get enough sleep that she would not go to bed before the book group meeting at my house that night and instead was up until 10:00 pm.

And so it goes...

Early this morning, Maggie woke up at 3:30 am needing to go to the bathroom. I was proud of her waking, since I only started not putting her in pull-ups at night last week. But, after our trip to the potty, she could not fall asleep. And, neither could I.

This seems to be a regular problem lately for me, I don't know if it is pregnancy or worry or what, but I have spent a lot of hours up in the middle of the night, my mind racing on various topics: weight gain during pregnancy, decorating the baby's nursery, Jeffrey's new calling, Mia's kindergarten teacher, lists of household chores I need to accomplish, etc., etc., etc..

Finally at 4:15, when Maggie heard Jeffrey get in the shower, and decided she wanted to go to work with him today -- which I, by the way, thought was an excellent idea -- she also determined she was hungry. So, we came downstairs for a smoothie and toast. She chatted up a storm with me and her dad, said a morning prayer, asking that "Mia's fish could be healthy," and finally just fell asleep on the floor under my feet.

I have been trying to get up at 6:30 to have some time to read and pray before Mia and Maggie arise and the off-to-school rush begins. However, given how things have been going with naps, I don't know what this morning's adventures mean for sleep throughout the rest of the day. So, I think I will go off to bed, at least until my other daughter wakes me up...

School Days

So, yesterday was Mia's first day of kindergarten. It is a long day; the bus picks her up at 8:30 am and drops her off at 4:10 pm. I have always been a big school fan, and was very excited each of the three years as Mia started pre-school. But, this kindergarten thing is a bit of an adjustment. I have actually been a little emotional about letting her go all day.

The hard part is that Mia seems to be growing up so fast. An essay by Mia on "What I did over my summer vacation..." would include more than just our trips to Williamsburg and Utah, three weeks of day camps, visits from both of her grandmas and her aunts, it would also include a lot of milestones: losing her first two teeth, learning to ride her bike without training wheels, swimming across the pool on her own for the first time, and finding out she is going to have another little sister. Somehow it seems like her development has just been accelerating at such a rapid pace, and I am honestly not certain I am ready for all the changes. She even just looks more grown up!



In addition, putting her on the bus all alone, letting her find her own way to her class and around the day at school and back home at the end of the day alone, required me to really let go and trust how capable Mia really is. (Thank heaven for her darling friends, Jonathan and Alina Taylor. Getting to ride the bus with them has been a MUCH anticipated event and helped me to feel better about the whole thing.) I find myself already wondering if I have prepared Mia well enough to make good choices, to be ready to learn and make friends. Have I filled her up with enough love and counsel over the last five years for her to be resilient and capable on her own? It seems to bring out a lot of self-doubt for me, and require me to really trust in her.




Of course, she did great. She had one day of worry about starting kindergarten, but after that was so excited she could not sleep the night before. The highlight yesterday: she got to sweep up the cafeteria after lunch! If only the chores were the highlight of her home life too. She made two friends, played with Alina at recess, learned two new songs that she sang for me, and responsibly reported to me about the up-coming activities later in the week. I definitely had a harder time with it. Mia is ready, if I just trust in her.

To be honest, it was time for a change. It has been a jungle here!




This was a happy moment creating and sporting their animal masks: Maggie is a pink giraffe and Mia a yellow lion. Recently, though, Mia and Maggie have been really getting on each other's nerves. It is nice to have some personal time with each of them, especially with baby 3 on the way in less than three months!