Nine Years, Nine Lives

Today Jeffrey and I celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary. What strikes me the most is how much our lives have changed in nine years.

Jeffrey and I met in high school, five years before we got married. We started dating my senior year, and dated all through the time I was in college, including four months of daily email correspondence while Jeffrey was in Beijing studying Chinese. My last semester of college, we got engaged. The bulk of our seven month engagement was spent living in Alexandria, Virginia and working as full-time interns on Capitol Hill. We then returned to Utah and were married a month later on September 30, 1999.

Year 1- Newlyweds and Politicking
We lived in a small apartment in the Avenues in Salt Lake City. It was on the fourth floor and we would joke that there was no reason to lock the door since anyone stupid enough to haul some of our meager belongings down all those flights of stairs deserved to keep them!

We loved walking through our historic neighborhood. We would walk to the grocery store, church, downtown for lunch, and to the temple. I walked to work each day at Intermountain Healthcare where I worked full-time as a technical writer.

In addition to finishing his last semester at the University of Utah, Jeffrey quit his job as a pharmacy technician to accept a (practically unpaid) position on a political campaign for a democratic challenger taking on the republican incumbent in Utah -- this is the definition of a "long-shot," politically speaking.

We spent all our free time working on the campaign: organizing neighborhood walks, supervising volunteers, assembling field plans, identifying potential supporters on the phone. I wanted to actually see my new husband after all.

Year 2- Capitol Hill and Washington DC
When the candidate Jeffrey was working for actually won, we were both offered legislative positions in his Congressional Office in Washington, DC. We moved to an apartment about a mile from the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia and commenced working full-time as legislative staff. We spent most of our time at work, learning the ropes of legislative process and policy-making. We also enjoyed exploring the DC region on the weekends.

It could be said that between living, working, and sleeping together, we were never apart during this time!

Year 3- Settling Down
While this year together included many months working for Congress and plans for both of us to attend law school in Boston, all of that changed with the news that we were expecting our first baby.

At the end of Year 3, we moved back across the country, bought and remodeled our first home in Salt Lake City, and continued to do the work we had done in DC, but from the local congressional office in Salt Lake City.

Year 4- Parenthood
What more do I need to say? Mia's birth completely changed our lives. I cut back my work schedule, and we tried to adapt to all that it meant to be parents.

Year 5- Student-life, Again
Jeffrey quit work, while I continued to work part-time, and commenced his studies as a full-time law student. This required me to remind him that there was a life and world outside of legal academia.

Year 6- Catching Our Breath
This year was the closest we have ever gotten to just holding steady. Mia grew; Jeffrey advanced in his schooling; I kept working; we continued to fix up our house. Really, a little bit boring by Merchant standards.

Year 7- "Real" Adult Life
Welcoming our second child, having Jeffrey graduate from law school and pass the bar and then settle into full-time work as an attorney at a law firm, felt a lot like moving into a more permanent, "adult" position in life. We even got some of the luxuries we cut back on during the newly-married / student years: cell phones, Internet at home, and a second car.

Year 8- Wholesale Changes
Early on, I quit my job of the previous six years to be home full-time with our girls. Then, we decided that a change in career paths for Jeffrey would be best, so we spent the bulk of Year 8 in uncertainty as Jeffrey looked into options and eventually got a new job with the US Department of Agriculture in Washington, DC. We sold our house, we bought a new home, and we relocated our family and all our belongings to Manassas, Virginia.

Year 9- Settling-in, Again
This past year has been all about creating a new life for our family in Virginia. It is different being back here with two kids and me not working. We have fixed up our house, found new favorite places to visit, seen seven months of my third pregnancy pass, and had Mia start school full-time in kindergarten. It is, once again, a whole new life for our family.

I just can't help but be amazed at all the different "lives" we have led over the past nine years. To be honest, it has all been sweeter and richer because we have traveled these many varied roads and made all of these life changes together.

I am hopeful that the next years will provide a little more stability and continuity for our family. We already are excited about a new baby arriving in Year 10 (and I am counting on a get-away for the two of us next anniversary!). But, I know that whatever life holds in store, we will face it together and that brings me great comfort and joy.