Aaahr me hearties, how be ye? I know its a little late to be celebratin', but today be National Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I felt obligated to be sayin' a few words. First, let me be thankin' me family for lettin' me celebrate. 'Tis only one day per year that I be talkin' this way, and me fine wife usually puts up with it quite well. Second, let me tell a few pirate jokes (man
y of ye already know these, they be oldies, but goodies):
1. Have ye heard of the new George Clooney movie that be comin' out? No, not the spy one, the pirate one? I wanted to take the kiddies to see it, but unfortunately, it's rated AAARRRRRRRR!
2. But seriously folks, do ye be knowin' why pirates wear earrings? Generally, pirates wore earrings to ensure that a priest would give 'em a proper funeral should they have the unfortunate pleasure of heading to Davey Jones' Locker. The priest would take the earring as payment for his services. Do you know how much it usually cost to get the earring though? A Buck an ear!
3. Speaking of ears, do you know what a pirate receptionist's worst nightmare is? CAARRRRpal Tunnel.
Okay, well, comin' up with pirate jokes is a bit haaarrrd, so I think I'll be stoppin' thar. For all you filthy bilgerats that are disinclined to celebrate this day (and I plan on celebratin' all weekend), ye ought to be keelhauled for a quarter-hour, hornswaggled out of all ye own, have yer village pillaged by the Corsairs, and then be forced to walk the plank, ye dirty sons of a biscuit eater. So everyone buck up and start talkin' like a pirate. Savvy?
y of ye already know these, they be oldies, but goodies):1. Have ye heard of the new George Clooney movie that be comin' out? No, not the spy one, the pirate one? I wanted to take the kiddies to see it, but unfortunately, it's rated AAARRRRRRRR!
2. But seriously folks, do ye be knowin' why pirates wear earrings? Generally, pirates wore earrings to ensure that a priest would give 'em a proper funeral should they have the unfortunate pleasure of heading to Davey Jones' Locker. The priest would take the earring as payment for his services. Do you know how much it usually cost to get the earring though? A Buck an ear!
3. Speaking of ears, do you know what a pirate receptionist's worst nightmare is? CAARRRRpal Tunnel.
Okay, well, comin' up with pirate jokes is a bit haaarrrd, so I think I'll be stoppin' thar. For all you filthy bilgerats that are disinclined to celebrate this day (and I plan on celebratin' all weekend), ye ought to be keelhauled for a quarter-hour, hornswaggled out of all ye own, have yer village pillaged by the Corsairs, and then be forced to walk the plank, ye dirty sons of a biscuit eater. So everyone buck up and start talkin' like a pirate. Savvy?
3 comments:
arrrrr.
Hey, I heard no pirate talking last night at the campout! haha
Arrgh matee! It be fine sailin fer yer weekend.
Give me best to yer big bellied wench and yer little scalliwags!
Post a Comment