A Day Late and $100 Dollars Short

Yesterday was World Autism Awareness Day. My friend, Melanie, asked others to post information about the warning signs of autism on their blogs to be entered in a giveaway for a $100 dollar gift card. So, of course, I read the challenge today. But, I really am not interested in the gift card (not that I would not always be able to spend $100 at Target) -- I just could not sit back and fail to try in this one small way to do something about autism. So, here is my autism post a day late.

I have thought a lot about autism. My first "real" job during college was teaching in a school for children with autism. I worked with preschool aged children across the spectrum. Some of the five year olds in my classroom were not toilet trained, had no verbal skills, engaged in repetative self-stimulatory behaviors, and responded more to holding their favorite pencil than having a parent walk into the room. Others were more responsive to other people, but struggled to connect in social settings or communicate with words. I grew to love these children, but never really knew if they loved me back.

Since those experiences, our family has had several dear friends with autistic children. I watch them raise and love these children with the same wonder I had for the parents of the children I taught. There are few answers with autism. No good causal explanations and no real cures that work for all children, so the process of raising an autistic child often is a lonely one with a lot of searching and a lot of hope required.

I have been thinking a lot lately about truly unconditional love: the type of love that requires NOTHING in return. In all honesty, most of us parents are imperfect. We love our kids, but not as unselfishly as we should. We expect them to love us back, to reciprocate, to be grateful for all we do for them, and in so doing our love is conditional. But, as I watched a show on autism just a couple of weeks ago, I finally put a few thoughts together that I had not had words for before.

More than almost any other challenge that a parent can face, autism requires unconditional love. That is the amazing quality that I have seen in the parents and caregivers of children with autism. They are able to love, fully and completely, without any expectation of reciprocation. They know they may never get the love or the behaviors that they would like from their child, but still they are able to love.

I have such respect for that capacity. I hope that I can learn to love like that more myself. I just felt the need to acknowledge the committment, the tenacity, the patience, and the love of families who experience autism. I am better for having known so many, and I appreciate the chance to love your kids and rejoice in their gains and progress.

So, on the off-chance that there are really readers of my blog who do not read Melanie's, and in honor of kids like Sydney, Jessica, Michael, Peter, Grant, Dylan, Alexandra, and others who have touched me, here are the warning signs to look for in early detection of autism.

If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:

No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter

No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by nine months or thereafter

No babbling by 12 months

No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months

No words by 16 months

No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months

Any loss of speech or babbling or social skills at any age

*This information has been provided by First Signs, Inc. ©2001-2005. Reprinted with permission. For more information about recognizing the early signs of developmental and behavioral disorders, please visit http://www.firstsigns.org or the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov/actearly.