Yes Mom

Last time I flew on a plane with all my kids, I watched the in-flight movie: Yes Man.

Well, I sort of watched the movie. Actually, I watched a few minutes, put on a DVD for the girls, watched a few minutes, made a bottle for the baby, watched a few minutes, fished snacks out of the bags on the floor, watched a few minutes, found coloring supplies, and so on and so forth for an hour and a half.

Fortunately, the premise of the movie was quite simple. A man, who said “no” to everything in life, is challenged by a self-help-guru-type to say “yes” instead. Then, the rest of the movie is just about what happens when he changes his automatic response to “Yes.” Of course, this is a movie, so his whole life changes, everything that was bad turns good, and he becomes a happy man.

The other night, I was talking to a friend who told me of a time in her life when she had extra help with household chores and made a commitment to just say “Yes” to her children whenever she could. As she said this, it was like something that had been trying to find a form, to shape into words in the back of my mind, fell into place.

That was it. That was what I wanted to accomplish in my life lately, but had been struggling so hard to actually bring about. That was why I was taking all of my kids out to Utah for six weeks this summer.

I want to be a “Yes Mom.”

Lately, I have felt overwhelmed by the demands of household chores. I keep saying, “I am drowning in tasks.” I want to spend focused, undistracted time with my kids. I want to pay attention and listen to them and play with them. But, it is so hard at times.

As summer approached and I considered what we most needed as a family, I felt like it was time to play. I felt like after Mia’s tough year in kindergarten, and all the chaos and change with the birth of Elsie Jane, Jeffrey’s new calling, and lots of sickness, we just needed time to have fun together this summer. We needed a break. And, I felt, particularly, that my kids needed to just be filled up with love. With tons of attention and positive regard.

Ideally, I could do this for them at home. I would know how to balance my own needs, find the quiet time and rest I require, keep up on the chores, and plan lots of fun outings and times to really focus on them. And, I am hoping to do that in August. But, I worried that to really do it, I needed to get out of the environment; I needed to get away from the tasks that scream for my attention. I needed to throw away my to-do list for the summer.

So, I brought all the kids to Utah. And, I have one goal for the next six weeks: saying “Yes.”

Mom, will you get me a drink? Yes.

Mom, jump on the trampoline with me? Yes.

Mom, listen to the song that I learned on the piano? Yes.

Mom, sing me another song? Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

With fewer obligations and demands to fix food, buy groceries, and clean the house, I want to get good at saying “Yes.”

I also want to say “yes” to myself. Yes, I will take the time to read and write each day. Yes, I will take that nap, someone else can help with the kids. Yes, I will sit in silence for a few moments, or go to yoga consistently, or run.

I want to make my highest priority not getting things accomplished, not what I have to do, but creating love, both in myself and in my children. And, I am convinced that that will happen better when I say, “Yes,” rather than “Later,” “Not now,” or “Just give me five minutes.”

Maybe I will get good at it. Maybe I can carry that attitude home with me. Maybe it will even change our lives. Maybe being a “Yes Mom” can be just as powerful as being a “Yes Man.”

We will see.




***And, a special note of thanks for support in our long travels and all of life to my fabulous husband. We will be missing you on Father’s Day. We love you!